The Choices we Make
by Lain Fyrs
Summary: Cloud was tired of not being in control. He was tired of fighting and killing and winning. He wanted to choose what would happen next.


**Hello people! This is a depressing story…. It is based off the poem that it surrounds; the lines in **_**Italics.**_** It is of the same name as this story and it was written by myself. I do hope you enjoy it!**

**Summary: Cloud was tired of not being in control. He was tired of fighting and killing and winning. He wanted to choose what would happen next.**

He couldn't do it anymore.

_**Our lives are decided**_

Cloud stared at the water that swirled around his feet, bringing up sand to slowly bury him alive. He was tempted to let it.

He had spent the last 10 years of his life fighting for a reason he had forgotten. Someone, or something had happened, that much he was sure of. But whatever it had been had been swept away like the grains of sand that moved with the flow of the tides. He was one of those grains of sand. He had no control.

_**Not by a fate set down when we are born**_

He was sure he had been born without all this. He'd been normal, right? Well, as normal as he could be. Anything that wasn't boring in Niebelheim was not always considered normal. Cloud had a normal childhood, a normal family, a normal life. Why was he like that now?

_**Nor by a being who governs us all**_

Gaia. She made him that way. If she had just ignored him like everyone else on her surface, he might have been happy. And if not happy, then at least sane.

_**They are not controlled by those around us**_

Then everyone else would have still been safe. If that was the case then they wouldn't have depended on Cloud, and he would have never needed to protect them. He was used as a shield and a weapon by the people around him. He had no control over his own actions.

_**Or those who are no longer**_

And then those he couldn't protect. They told him what to do in his sleep; when he was insecure they entered with false hope and happy memories. Memories that he no longer had. They had wanted him to do something, but even after he had completed it they never left him alone.

_**We are not driven to reach one goal**_

They had needed him to save the planet. Gaia, his friends, they all helped him do it. The lifestream lived again and the world had begun to recover. He'd done everything they'd asked. He beat him.

_**Not forced to fight one man**_

He wouldn't fight him again. Sephiroth was standing behind him, smiling because he'd won. Cloud had lost. His friends would follow and the planet would die. He felt a strong hand press against his back that slowly made him walk towards his end. The water reached his knees and his feet sunk into the wet earth.

_**We do not have to serve a god**_

Through the ground he felt the planet begin to panic. It called out him, and sent pictures of how happy he would be if he turned around and killed the man behind him. He ignored Gaia.

_**Our lives are not decided**_

The water reached his waist and he stopped. Sephiroth reached with his other hand to cup his face and turn his head. He whispered sweet nothings into his ear, telling him it would be over in a heartbeat. The hand on his back pressed more forcefully, but he ignored it.

He had second thoughts. But he'd done it before, in much more painful ways. He slowly stepped once more, starting to shiver as the cold water lapped over his stomach.

_**They happen as life comes**_

Cloud vaguely heard his friends screaming his name, trying to make him stop and run back to them. He wanted to turn and look at them, but he remembered that if he did, it wouldn't be his choice anymore and he would be controlled by them once again.

_**And as life leaves **_

A female voice drifted through his head, pleading with him. He stopped once more, gasping as a deep male voice joined in. They chanted, sang to him a song of happiness and days when it would have never been an option. Days when he would have never chosen it.

Thousands of voices broke their way into his mind, weaving a chain of the hopes and dreams they had for him and everyone that was still alive.

He realized he was shaking, and that two strong hands were gripping his shoulders. He felt himself take a step back, bumping into the man behind him. The hands moved from his body and arms encircled his torso, pulling him into a warm embrace. He could feel hot breath on his ear.

_**Our lives are decided**_

"It's your choice, Cloud."

The singing stopped being so sweet. He could hear the lies behind the happiness they had promised for him.

Cloud took a step forward, then another. He no longer heard the voices, only the sound of the water slapping against his chest.

He stopped and turned towards Sephiroth. His enemy, his idol and a god looked down at him, a smile present on his face. In the back of his mind he felt Jenova fill with happiness at the sight of her son fulfilling his dream. A hand was placed on top of his head, lightly ruffling his hair before regaining its position on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and took a shallow breath before they pushed him under.

The first few moments he felt slightly at peace. He slowly opened his eyes and stared up, seeing the moon partially blocked by the man who kept him from floating back up. He suddenly began to panic as he felt his air supply running low. He began to thrash slightly but the hands held him in place. He looked at one and realized that he could move it if he wanted to, that Sephiroth wasn't making him die.

It was his choice.

Cloud stopped moving and lightly gripped one of the arms above him. It responded by leaving his shoulder and in turn holding his hand, squeezing gently. He smiled sadly, and opened his mouth to let the water run in.

His vision began to face, and he could feel his hand falling from Sephiroth's. He watched it fall before he disappeared.

_**Our lives are decided**_

_**Not by a fate set down when we are born**_

_**Nor by a being who governs us all**_

_**They are not controlled by those around us**_

_**Or those who are no longer**_

_**We are not driven to reach one goal**_

_**Not forced to fight one man**_

_**We do not have to serve a god**_

_**Our lives are not decided**_

_**They happen as life comes**_

_**And as life leaves**_

_**Our lives are decided**_

_**By the choices we make**_

_**And the one we chose not to.**_

**-Please Review!**

**This is very much what my oneshot song fiction series will be like…. Just with more storyline.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed it!**


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